Saturday, October 5, 2013

Our 2nd Annual List of Amazing Fall $#!^&!!!


It's that time again. That time where the long sunny days turn into dark, soggy, short-lived and oft complained about weeks in which we begin to ask ourselves why in Scandinavian hell our pasty-white ancestors ever settled in this land of insanely steep hills and never-ending rain. In other words, us Pacific Northwesterners are in heaven.

This time of grumpiness and non-stop grumbling also brings about the age-old Autumn/Halloween/Day of the Dead/Pumpkin Spice Latte™ season. Watch as posters go up in windows, promising happiness with the purchase of 24 ounces of burnt milk and high fructose corn syrup. Sip on aforementioned happiness with friends while delicately wafting in the aroma of a 22 ounce Turkey & Stuffing Seasonal Candle. (Yes, this is a thing).

So, without further ado, some of my guiltiest of Fall pleasures:

1. Making cookies. Yeah, easy enough, but really freaking good! Amaze your co-workers/family members/potential dates with a fresh batch of Peanut Butter chocolate chunk cookies. And speaking of chunk, who needs to fit into those summer outfits anymore? Eat away, my friends!
2. Local Fall Microbrews. Holy crap. Yes. I want ALL THE SEASONAL BEERS. Elysian "Night Owl Pumpkin Ale" (Seattle, WA), Flyers Brewery "Proptoberfest" (Oak Harbor, WA), and Georgetown Brewery "Tomtoberfest" (Seattle, WA) are the best I've sampled so far. But there is so much more sampling to do! And so many other ways to spell Oktoberfest!
3. Beer Festivals of some sort. Elysian Brewery is doing a thing. Fremont does a thing. Basically everywhere does a thing.
4. Sweater Weather. Speaking of getting out and being social, and bringing up the chunk thing again, I LOVE FALL FASHION. It's basically just eating a bunch of cookies, drinking all the beer, and then lettin' yerself go. Forget dieting and washing your hair. Now you can cover it all up in "cute" leggings, "cute" sweaters and "cute" hats! You can breathe that sigh of relief that you've been holding in since April. The chunk is here to stay.
5. Rainy nights with friends and a good bottle of whiskey. Aww. What a heartfelt bullet point.
6. Squash/Gourds/Pumpkins. You can decorate it, display it, cook it, bake it, eat it, decoupage it, or throw it. So cheap for SO MANY USES.
7. Foreign Horror movies. Even better because you're even less sure what the hell is happening. My favorites include: Suicide Club (Japan, 2002); The Grudge (Japan, 2002); The Skin I Live In (Spain, 2011); Let the Right One In (Sweden, 2008); annnndddd Shaun of the Dead (UK, 2004). Yeah, I know. That last one doesn't really count.
8. Getting out into Nature. Put on those layers of leggings. Get out those sexy Hiking boots. And go. It doesn't matter if it's raining! There is nature to be had! Go get it! (HINT: Washington Trails Association is like "Walking Outdoors for Dummies." Which is why I go on this website so often.)
9. Cozy coffee shops with multiple Seasonal Drinks. My favorites are Cintli Cafe's Mayan Mocha and Vivace Espresso's Pumpkin Spice Latte. You know you want it.
10. Dressing up in some sort of semi-relevant pop culture costume and hoping people "get it."

HINT: GET DRUNK AT A BEER FESTIVAL IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE ON A RAINY NIGHT WITH FRIENDS WHILE WEARING A MILEY CYRUS TWERK-IT COSTUME OVER A GIANT SWEATER WHILE JUGGLING GOURDS AND COOKIES AND A YANKEE CANDLE AND A PUMPKIN SPICE LATTE AND THEN GO HOME AND WATCH A SCARY MOVIE IN JAPANESE.

No comments:

Post a Comment