MILWAUKEE EDITION: Northern Chocolate Company

WHO: your secret chocolate loving self
WHAT: Northern Chocolate Company, aka 'The Chocolate Nazi.'
WHEN: opens at noon most days, mid afternoon is usually the best time. Ring the bell before entering. Then remove your shoes. Not even joking.
WHERE: 2036 N Dr Martin Luther King Dr. Just south of North Ave, sort of west of the east side. (Still not even joking.)
WHY: Because its chocolate, but not just any chocolate. Its like secret chocolate, and its like this totally mind-boggling mind game to even get to the chocolate. First of all, you have to find the shop, which, as I pointed out above, is a puzzle in itself. Then you have the front door. Ring the bell, wait. Perhaps the proprietor will come, maybe he won't. He might peek out the curtains and decide that you are too young or too old or maybe your shoes are too brightly colored for his liking or perhaps your hat is just stupid looking. Anyways, if he opens the door, it becomes like this bizarre Japanese tea ceremony. You pause, make a motion of removing your shoes, and he will bark at you to remove your shoes. You step inside and he will let you know that you cannot touch the chocolate, smell it, stand too close to it or breathe on it. He will be engaged with a trio of husky tourists from Montana or a sweaty business man or a young couple decked out in UWM wear who look absolutely terrified and clearly want to leave the shop but he is blocking the door. And then it is your turn. A word of caution: NEVER step up to the counter until he invites you up. Don't hold the chocolate in your clammy, nervous hands. Just politely mill about the shop until his Chocolate Highness summons you to the register.

HINT: Once you are in the presence the man who has been nicknamed the 'Chocolate Nazi,' you will realize why you came here. He knows his stuff, loves his trade (and his cats, DO ask about his cats), and has a wealth of interesting knowledge from his many travels. You might end up spending a good hour or two chatting with him and he might even through a few extra chocolates in your bag and high five you as you're leaving the shop.

I give it:

/ 10

EIGHT OUT OF TEN HAPPY BRUCE FACES

*photo courtesy of JSOnline.com.