PORTLAND EDITION: Pambiche

Urban Treasure Hunt: Portland Edition!!!!

WHO: your hungry, cuban food lovin' self
WHAT: Pambiche Cuban Cafe
WHEN: The most glorious of all happy hours: 2pm till 6pm during the week
WHERE: 2811 Northeast Glisan Street, Portland, OR 97232 (28th Ave and Glisan Street, NE Portland)
WHY: So you're just having a typical day in the Pacific Northwest Hippie Utopia (AKA WHITELANDIA) that is Portland, you arrived via the magical BoltBus line (this needs a separate post), you saved fuel by biking around in your Birkenstocks and biodegradable flax pants or something, you spent an hour wandering around Powells and sipping Stumptown and reading about trekking in Nepal, but now you are ravenously hungry and want to chow down like you've never chowed down before. But your friends are vegan! And gluten-free! And have no jobs and no money! What to do?

PAMBICHE. Wonder of all wonders. SO, so, so delicious. Happy hour menu options consist on piles of authentic Cuban cuisine all FIVE BUCKS or less AND full of vegan, vegetarian and gluten-free options. For drinks, throw back a couple cubanos ($2) or mango milkshakes ($2.50), or just dive into their boozy, coffee cocktails. It's everything you've ever wanted.

HINT: ORDER ONE OF EVERYTHING. You will be so full that you won't be able to squeeze into your flax pants and bike ride back to your yurt.

I give it:

/ 10

TEN OUT OF TEN HAPPY BRUCE FACES (!!!)

The Seattle Aquarium

WHO: your inner "when-I-grow-up-I-want-to-be-a-marine-biologist"
WHAT: the Seattle Aquarium
WHEN: middle of the day, midweek
WHERE: down on the waterfront, Pier 59
WHY: Because, sometimes you have a friend in town and its rainy but you need to be a good host and show them the town but you also need a day where you can let yourself ride out a hangover by sipping spiked coffee and wandering around looking at adorable otters and squishy octopi and stuff. You can also substitute out of town guest for small child or annoying one night stand who refuses to leave when you wake up in the morning. Whatever.

HINT: The aquarium is small, but charming. Its a bit pricey ($19.95, but I don't pay full price because I am a famous blogger. Also I have a friend who works at the aquarium.) so be on the look-out for Groupons or dig up your old student ID and try to look ten years younger.

I give it:

/ 10

SIX OUT OF TEN HAPPY BRUCE FACES

PICK OF THE WEEK: White People Mourning Romney Tumblr

After all the months of anti-Obama hatred, crazy Republican lies and the very real possibility of letting a man who has magic underpants lead this country, we can all sigh a big ol' sigh of relief 'cause IT'S GONNA BE ALRIGHT!

But let us take a moment and be a not-so-great-sport and laugh at the rich white people pouting over their loss.

Because taking the higher road is sorta boring sometimes.

http://whitepeoplemourningromney.tumblr.com/