Bush Garden

WHO: your shameless drunken karaoke singin' self
WHAT: BUSH GARDEN karaoke lounge and bar. (and restaurant, apparently).
WHEN: 9:30pm till close, Monday through Saturday.
WHERE: 614 Maynard Ave S. International District.
WHY: Because sometimes, your night has consisted of a series of brownouts, in which you sorta remember drinking a bottle of wine at your friend's apartment in Capitol Hill, vaguely recall doing shots of tequila at Cowgirls Inc. in Pioneer Square, briefly recollect stumbling around CenturyLink Field wasted at a midweek Sounders game, and finally, the faint memory resurfaces of you drinking a Capri Sun and gin in the back of a cab on I-5. And then you find yourself at Bush Garden, and ALL IS WELL.
HINT: This place is instant, drunken happiness. Revel as a small old Asian man climbs up on stage and serenades you with Frank Sinatra, or a nerdy dude busts out some TLC as the crowd goes nuts. Beware of the drinks, the bartenders pour extra heavy. In short, BUSH GARDEN IS ALWAYS A GOOD DECISION.

I give it:

/ 10

NINE OUT OF TEN HAPPY BRUCE FACES

Exercising Your Freedom to Vote!

WHO: Your freedom lovin' little self.
WHAT: VOTING IN THE GENERAL ELECTION.
WHEN: November 6th! Or sooner, by mail!
WHERE: In your mailbox the week of October 22nd! Paper ballots! We all get to vote in our underwear sitting on the couch! (Or if you haven't registered to vote yet via the interwebz, you can still register in person at the county elections department up until October 29.)
WHY: DON'T LIKE THE WAY THINGS ARE GOING?! MAYBE YOU SHOULD CAST A BALLOT! (Also people in countries where democracy is a relatively new thing actually take pride in their ability to freely vote. Maybe we should remember that and stop being so goddam lazy.)

HINT: Approve Referendum 74!!! Let everyone marry! Duh!!! Also vote YES on Initiative Measure 502 'cause it will make marijuana (in Washington State) legal, regulated and taxed which means pot for all and money for the budget! Yippeee!

(P.S. Check out the Stranger's cheat sheet if you know you're a liberal but are still being too goddam lazy to research what's on the ballot.)

I give it:

ONE BIG FAT PATRIOTIC CHARLIE DAY

Arabica Lounge

WHO: your fancy coffee and breakfast snack lovin' self
WHAT: Arabica Lounge
WHEN: mid-morning, mid-week.
WHERE: 1550 East Olive Way, Capitol Hill
WHY: You wake up and its so grey and drizzly and that weird in-between temperature that you have no idea whether its 8am on a Monday in May or 6pm on a Saturday in November. Basically its any day in Seattle, ever (Except for summer, which lasts July 29-31 depending on the year). So you call in sick, put on your old college hoodie and "shoes" (moccasins that may or may not actually be slippers from Target) and go find the nicest little coffee joint on the Hill. And it happens to be Arabica Lounge. Its warm and they have pretty art and pretty baristas and there is always some sort of non-annoying ambient music playing. Its totally worth your newly acquired (and required) sick day pay.

HINT: Get yerself some ever-lovin' breakfast snacks here. Good god. Try the "Awesome Breakfast Croissant Sandwich" ($6) for buttery goodness. After that disappears, try a sweet little cinnamon crepe ($9) that is just the perfect amount of egg-y and cinnamon-y and it has a tiny dollop of cream on top with the faintest zestings of lime (YES).

I give it:

/ 10

SEVEN OUT OF TEN HAPPY BRUCE FACES

PICK OF THE WEEK: OCTOBER $#&@!

Do you have one of those friends, who, the moment summer is over, freaks out about 'Fall Festivities' and Pumpkin Spice Lattes and corn mazes and carving pumpkins and ish like that?

I am that person.

And so, here is my list of top ten HALLOWEEN-Y things to do/drink/eat:

1. Mother-effing Pumpkin Spice Lattes from Starbucks. DON'T HATE. You know you love them. And yes please, I will take whip cream on that.
2. Elysian 'Night Owl' Pumpkin Ale. Enjoyed at the Elysian Brewery on Capitol Hill, or, in six-pack form downed while watching B-list scary movies.
3. On that note, B-list scary movies! Dead Alive, Basketcase, Frankenhooker. Check out this list here.
3. Peanut butter cookies from Crumble & Flake. A little sprinkle of sea salt on top. Oh my god. Yes.
4. The Galvanizer. A pint of Spire apple cider (on draft) with a shot of Fireball whiskey thrown right in. Served up with a side of vegan heavy metal at the Highline. (It's like a B-movie, a little scary but mostly hilarious)
5. SCARY CORN MAZES. I don't care how old you are, that freaking chain saw dude at the end still makes me pee a little.
6. Peanut Butter and Jam bars from The Wandering Goose. I don't know why peanut butter is so October-y to me, but it is.
7. Angry Orchard 'Apple Ginger Cider.' Available at QFC. Ridiculously good.
8. Trick-or-Treating. Never too old to go trick-or-boozing. Get a group of friends, get dressed up, and check out this list of adult stops during the month of October.
9. JUMPING IN LEAVES. Volunteer park has a lot of leaves. So does Cal Anderson. Bring a rake, some of that hard cider in a thermos, and go to town (I mean, a park).

10. Okay, one more. Here it is, the top great October thing to do is….

GETTING PRETTY DRUNK ON PUMPKIN BEERS AND FREAKED OUT FROM THOSE B-LIST SCARY MOVIES AND WANDERING AROUND A CEMETERY WITH YOUR FRIENDS UNTIL SOMEONE JUMPS OUT AND YOU PEE A LITTLE.

Ludi's Lounge

WHO: your scary dive bar lovin' little self
WHAT: The back bar at Ludi's (the former TURF CAFE)
WHEN: early evening… 2nd avenue scares me after about 7pm. Actually 2nd avenue always scares me.
WHERE: 200 Pike Street, Downtown
WHY: Because sometimes, you need to get really tanked really fast and go spend $140 at the downtown 'City Target' on a bunch of Mossimo brand wrap dresses.

HINT: This place is scary. Like, awesomely scary. And I can take a good dose of scary. I usually like scary. But this place is too much. Maybe don't jokingly ask for a vodka martini (dirty) with extra olives. You will just get a bunch of lukewarm liquid in an old chipped martini glass that you will then have to borrow your friend's straw to dig the back floaties out of.

I give it:

/ 10

THREE OUT OF TEN HAPPY BRUCE FACES

Georgetown

WHO: your 'feeling like you're not even in Seattle' self
WHAT: Georgetown, Seattle, WA, USA
WHEN: weekday afternoons are prime time
WHERE: south of downtown, south of SODO, pretty far down there. Take exit 161 on I-5 South and you're there.
WHY: Georgetown is AMAZING. And I always seem to forget that just a few miles down the freeway there is a little slice of Seattle that doesn't feel so Seattle. Its industrial and full of old (and current) breweries, railroad tracks, brick warehouses, artsy lofts and I believe there is some sort of tiny airport as well. Everything is good and cheap and certified non-hipster. Expect lots of biker boots and friendly mutts and pints of Georgetown Brewing beer.

HINT: There is a little city block between 12th Ave S and Airport Way S, bordered to the north by Vale Street and to the south by Bailey Street. It is a little city block of WONDER. You got Smarty Pants, a divey motocross (yes, really) bar and sandwich cafe of epic proportions (Try the 'Ms. Piggy'). Around the corner you have All-City Coffee, serving up Caffe Vita espresso. After you are boozed up, sammie'd up and properly caffeinated, hit up Georgetown Records/Fantagraphics Bookstore and Gallery for an afternoon of vinyl treasure hunting and comic book browsing. Perfect.

I give it:

/ 10

SEVEN OUT OF TEN HAPPY BRUCE FACES

The Wandering Goose

WHO: your biscuit-cravin' self
WHAT: The Wandering Goose Cafe & Bakery
WHEN: 7am-4pm every day except Wednesdays! Brunch on weekends! Cooking classes! Friday night family style dinners! More stuff TBA!
WHERE: 15th and Harrison, Capitol Hill
WHY: Sometimes you want to forget that you live in Whitelandia, and pretend that you are living the Southern food fantasy, complete with made-from-scratch biscuits and gravy (OH GOD THE BISCUITS) steamy Anson Mill grits, and fried chicken. Perhaps you are just hankerin' for a generous helping of pork belly and fried oysters. Done and done.  If you manage to tear your face off of your plate, you will notice the decor, which has the simplicity of a late summer garden party held in a charming old greenhouse. Giant windows, lots of sun, clever lampshades decorated with burlap, old church pews for seating and wooden tables engraved with excerpts from owner/founder/head chef Heather Earnhardt's upcoming children's book entitled, 'The Wandering Goose.' Perfect.

HINT: AND THE BISCUITS. Have I mentioned the biscuits?! So light and fluffy, but somehow completely substantial and with the slightest hint of peppery butter. Try Aunt Annie's (fried chicken, mustard, pickles and HONEY) and prepare to succumb to the calories and enter Southern heaven.

I give it:

/ 10

EIGHT OUT OF TEN HAPPY BRUCE FACES