Saturday, December 24, 2011

Prospect Park Zoo


WHO: your inner child / caged wild animal lovin' self
WHAT: The Prospect Park Zoo. A tiny little zoo in a not so tiny park.
WHEN:  Early afternoon is nice, and there's really only about an hour or two worth of stuff to see here before they politely (It is Park Slope, after all) shoo you away.
WHERE: On the northeast/central side of the park. It's sort of weird to walk there from the 15th St-Prospect Park F/G stop, and Google Maps/Android phones (see previous post) don't really help, but after a bit of wandering, you can make it!
WHY: Perhaps, you have in your charge, say, a screaming two-year-old. Screaming, as in, 'just witnessed Elmo getting brutally murdered by Dora the Explorer and then was informed that snack time would now consist of raw carrots and broccoli.' YES. VEGETABLES. Pure trauma. Anyways, you have this kid in a stroller, having an absolute riot, you have surpassed your light sweating and have now begun heavily perspiring through your coat as a crowd of Park Slope moms begins casting disproving stares at you (You also realize that you are also holding a bag of NON-ORGANIC CARROTS and the judgement is being dealt swiftly, and silently by the crowd of bystanders); now, what do you do? The Zoo!!! 

HINT: The Zoo is pretty small, but it is open all year round. Do the outdoor stuff on a warm afternoon and save the indoor monkey house for a cold day. If you have a kid that you are attempting to entertain (or you are shamelessly at the zoo by yourself, which is mildly creepy), check out the Sea Lion feedings at 11:30am, 2:00pm and 4:00pm. They do tricks, it's sort of sad, but hey, it keeps the kid happy.


I give it:
/ 10
FIVE OUT OF TEN HAPPY BRUCE FACES

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Staten Island


WHO: your really, really, (REALLY) adventurous self
WHAT: take the freakin' Staten Island ferry ovah to Staten Island. Dummy.
WHEN: apparently there is something called 'dusk,' in which beautiful colors come out and the sky turns something other than sickly polluted grey.
WHERE: um, I'm gonna say that it's south of Manhattan, but to this day, I really am not sure about the geography of anything east of the Mississippi.
WHY: Because sometimes, you feel like you need to cross off another burrough on your bucket list. And since you already went to 'Spa Castle' in Queens (review to come... and its gonna be a weird one) and there's no way that your sorry white tush would survive a minute in the Bronx, it's off to Staten Island we go!

HINT: Ride the Staten Island Ferry. It's nice, it's free; you can legally drink on NY ferries. But once you get to actual Staten Island, I would not really leave the ferry terminal. Staten Island is disgusting; whaddya expect?!?

I give it:
/ 10
THREE OUT OF TEN HAPPY BRUCE FACES