DISCLAIMER: I will be using a lot of parenthetical side notes in this post. Get ready for some ranting.
WHO: my technologically dependent self
WHAT: my piece of scrap 'Android' phone. Something called a 'HTC Eris.' Alternate spellings: possibly 'Aris.' Or 'Aeryz.' I don't know.
WHEN: Currently. Oh, no, I don't mean that I'm using this cellular device at this very second to do anything as high tech as accessing the internet. No, because the battery died four hours ago. No, don't worry, it lasted for an entire three hours and forty-eight minutes. And that was after I charged it twice today. And after I waited three weeks for it to come in the mail. And after I ordered an entirely different phone and paid hundreds of dollars for it.
WHERE: Sears.com is not the place to buy phones.
WHY: Because I thought an android phone would mean that I could do things such as use Google maps (the screen is too small to really navigate), check my e-mail (the e-mail program is buggy and refuses to let me scroll down to read my entire message), surf the web (somehow I never have any service bars and the 3G is really slow), or even have the luxury of updating my status on Facebook (forget using the Facebook app, it crashes every time I open it). But no. I am limited to calling people (but don't worry, there is no such thing as a button for 'contacts,' instead you must search your entire phone and tear your hair out just trying to figure out how to call someone) and texting them (yesterday my 'text messaging program froze unexpectedly' and refused to open up again). And once and a while, you might have an app or a game that you downloaded actually work. But don't get your hopes up.
HINT: THROW THIS DEVICE OFF THE HIGHEST BUILDING YOU CAN FIND.
I give it:
/ 10
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