Black Tights

WHO: your hipster self
WHAT: opaque black tights a la edie sedgwick.
WHEN: now, fall, winter, anytime.
WHERE: on your body, under a short dress, under corduroy shorts, under tall boots, under ballet flats, etc.
WHY: 'cause its pretty much fall, and i'm pretty much sick of shaving my legs. Plus, black tights cover mosquito bite scars, jiggly thighs, weird knees, aforementioned hairs and anything else you want to hide.

HINT: UNIQLO!!!!!!!!! They have the best tights, and they last forever.

I give it:
/ 10
SIX OUT OF TEN HAPPY BRUCE FACES