Hurricane Irene

WHO: your stupid, CNN-listening self.
WHAT: stupid "hurricane."
WHEN: August 27 - 28
WHERE: East Coast.
WHY: I dunno. Warm wind or something. I'm not a meteorologist.

HINT: Irene was a big, fat let down. We all went out and stood in some random aisle of Rite-Aid, hearts pounding, wondering if we should shove that old woman out of the way and grab the last bottle of water. And then we did. And we felt really good about it. Until Sunday morning, when we all felt like dumbasses. ALSO: What the fuck am I supposed to do with all these Craisens I bought?!

I give it:
/ 10
TWO OUT OF TEN HAPPY BRUCE FACES